Slowing down

Hello! Today it’s the last day of September. Then only 3 more months until 2015. Time certainly is a tricky thing; once you let it, it will slip right through your fingers like sand. So perhaps it’s a good idea to occasionally narrow the opening of the hour glass through which the sand dictates our time. This thought leads me to what I want to discuss in today’s post, because it’s been a dominant consideration for me recently.

Moving to Frankfurt has created the opportunity to pay more careful attention to my use of time. While living in NYC, there was never enough of it. I was always on the go, and I definitely preferred it this way. I had my set friends that I would see on the weekends, but then each week I would reach out to the lesser-seen friends in order to catch up. There are so many restaurants and bars and always new ones opening. The crowds are so invigorating, and I moved from morning to night with perhaps only a fleeting thought about HOW I was spending my time.

Am I achieving all of my goals? Am I working out enough? Am I corresponding enough with family, friends? Then the more mundane tasks needed to be considered: When will I do the laundry? When will I clean the apartment? Am I spending enough time with Hugo? Because ultimately, I didn’t want to miss brunch or happy hour…

My life revolved around my social life and ultimately attending to getting the most out of life in NYC. But now I am in the 5th biggest city of Germany, Frankfurt, which is home to 685,000 people. And I can feel the difference between NYC and a city with 2.5 times less people than Manhattan alone.

But changing my life and everything I know about it has created for me a mix bag of emotions. My friends and family and anyone I on Facebook could perhaps look at my life with envy. I am traveling frequently, I am not working, and I have plenty of time to do pretty much anything I want. It’s perfect, right?

Well, yes, it’s true – I have absolutely no reason to complain. But the fact is these months without work or any defined activities outside of German classes have caused me an internal rift. I do have time for whatever I want, but how do I use it when I don’t have friends or family and M is gone 10-11 hours a day and travels frequently? How do I cultivate me as a person and my goals now that I have time to do it? How do I overcome the major obstacles of being foreign and not being fluent in the language?

Well now that I have the time, these are the questions that fill my mind for better or worse. Over time, the key has been to think of how to calm down and slow down.  In addition, I take a look around to see how others spend their time, and what they consider important. And perhaps I need to take a clue from what I see. Life isn’t all Sex and the City.



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